Darling, I miss you – day 2

Darling, I miss you. We've only been apart one day, and there's at least one more night to go. I'm not even halfway there. And today is going to be a difficult one; I have a difficult meeting this morning, I am not sure what the outcome is going to be. It could mean this entire journey has been wasted; it could mean I might have to go ahead and do something else I don't want to do in order to get everything finished. I didn't sleep last night; didn't sleep much at all. My skin crept, fidgety, a touch of the nerves; more than once I wondered if there were bedbugs in this hotel bed, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't it. Just nerves, just not having your soft shoulder to nuzzle. The room's not co-operating much, either. The fridge seems to have frozen up and is dripping, drip, drip, drip, a twentieth-century variant of water torture. The toilet's got a leak, I think. I best not try to put a plug in the sink again, it took me twenty minutes with a car key last night to pry it back out to let the water drain.

I was good this morning, you would be proud of me. I got up early, by myself, I didn't grumble, I didn't complain. I made my 'phone call, bright and early. I took my joint health pills, all part of you taking care of me even when you're not right there with me, I guess. Ironic, that. You packed me an extra day's worth, just in case. I did take them yesterday before I left, didn't I? I can't remember much about yesterday morning, actually. Something makes me think I'd rather not. I wish this guy would hurry up and return my call. I want to know what I've got to be doing the rest of the day. It's a question of hurry up and wait. I might have a lot to do, and not much time to do it in, or I might be able to delight in il dolce far niente. The sweetness of doing nothing. It could go either way. Wait, the phone's ringing. It's him, he wants me in his office right now… oh wait, now I've got another call waiting. It's you? Go back to sleep darling, it's still ridiculously early for you… if you slept. I didn't sleep much, did I already tell you that? Yes of course I'll let you know as soon as I know something. Of course. Of course. Oh, for some reason I just remembered. I have to call Mom. She is going to be madder than a wet hen about me not calling her for her birthday yesterday.

OK, this town is ludicrous. I'm a mathematician; some things are invertible, reversible, but not driving in this town. Don't even think you can get from A to B by reversing the driving directions from B to A. It's all one way systems, all convoluted. My best bet to get from one place in this town to another is cross the river, drive along the riverfront to where I need to be, then cross back over. It's imperative that I either cross the river or the levee at least six times in any journey I make, like it's some kind of superstition the town planner had, requiring every motorist to cross themselves and genuflect their vehicles in some bizarre ritual of calling quarters. I'm going to be late for this appointment; I'm going to swing the vehicle in a wide arc, escape this town completely and take another shot at it from the outside. Bullseye.

It went well. It went better than well. It went incredibly well. I'm going to have to write it all down in an email to you, I think. It's going to be too easy for me to miss something important when I'm on the 'phone. We did the right thing, sending me here at a moment's notice. It seems we have saved the system a whole lot of trouble. Touch wood, everything should go very smoothly tomorrow. I just have to make sure I tell them everything, give them everything, explain everything. I've got copies of everything. And this really, truly, genuinely is it. I won't have to do this again. I guess that's what's been the hard thing for me to deal with; I said we would never have to do this, we'd never have to be apart again; we both said that, we thought this part was long over, and here we are, again, one more time. It's always one more time. But no more times after this one more time. OK?

So it's the sweetness of doing nothing, nothing to do, no-one to do it to – and I've been advised not to do that other thing we talked about, either. Not until everything is done, everything else. It's OK, you know I don't multitask well, I have to focus on one thing at a time. I'm smiling right now. Thinking of you in the kitchen. I've seen you sweeping or mopping with one hand while holding the little baby in the other arm and with all four burners running on the stove, while dancing and singling Walking On Sunshine. It takes me every brain cell in supreme synchronized concentration to make sure I don't trip over my own feet. I'm amazed at the way you juggled things; you found a way to make this happen, even though you knew it would be a rough couple of days for us, you focused on what had to be done. I'd already fallen apart. I've done it again. I did the meeting this morning, and right now I'm thinking about you, and that's got me fully occupied. I don't have the multitasking chromosomes. XX, XY, that's why it's you and me. I've done it again. I've somehow managed to forget to eat with all these other things I've had to do. I am feeling faint. What time is it, anyway. Is it breakfast time? Or lunch? You're eating what on waffles?

Sorry. Yes, I was eating, yes, I know. Thanks for the pictures, so you saw the lemons on our tree? I thought he just needed a bit of encouragement this year; I don't know why you didn't have any luck with him last year. Why are they blacktopping everything? You know, these pictures are making me feel extremely homesick. I can't wait to make it home. I'll let you know as soon as I get out tomorrow, and I'll have to gamble with the return flight again. One way or another I'll get back. Where was I? You'll never believe me. I got called on my accent. Interesting gentleman, he records his own music, He sounds like he has the same sort of equipment I used to use when I played. That reminds me, I need to start doing that again. We talked about the Beatles and chord progressions; and how you can play a C major and you can layer an A minor or an E minor on top of it and you can pick out whatever note in the triad you feel like in the bass part, I must admit, I really wasn't following a lot of it. I'm out of practice, you see. I mentioned you once or twice, I think. It's hard not to mention you, isn't it? He was amused by that story about the Ed Sullivan show. You know the one. He asked me to look him up. And here's his original song on YouTube. Pay him a visit, give him a comment, would you?

I never bothered resetting my clock, you know. It's still three hours back, for you it's still yesterday. For me it's already tomorrow. You must be finishing up at work, because I haven't heard from you for oh, at least two minutes. Drive safely darling, it should be just tonight, just one more night, and then it's back homeOh darling I wouldn't have believed I'd miss you like this.

In three YouTube videos?

About darlingman1970

Born in the UK and a graduate in mathematics from Cambridge University, Chris Nash has followed a career in software engineering which he continued after moving the United States in 1996 and now brings him to California in 2010. However, Chris does not want to be considered as merely a code monkey, and has always been interested in writing; in areas as diverse as factual technical manuals all the way through to fiction. An avid reader, Chris is a fan particularly of mystery novels and enjoys above all the works of Agatha Christie and David Hewson. Chris has recently gone through some significant life changes which, at the moment, he is considering as the basis for a forthcoming novel and as food for thought on his blog. He manages to couple his loves of writing and technology and is particularly interested in how internet innovations have an impact on the writing and promotional process. Chris is a firm supporter of Creative Commons and other 'open' initiatives and believes strongly that such distribution mechanisms are the "right" way to handle intellectual property in an evolving digital world. Chris is a keen Nintendo DS and Wii player in his spare time, and is currently happily attached, living in the Central Coast area of California. Find him on Twitter as @darlingman1970. Don't ask him how old he is.
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